Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Shut up or Speak up

Lets face it people, nobody likes to be called out, we don't take it well.

Bottling up what's eating you may nevertheless be a recipe for disaster, should the lid blow, that is a tsunami in the works

So how do you voice out a flaw_ Yes! Love me, love my dog, but seriously what if the dog is a little monster, do you tip toe around it, or take a jab at it. Even if you manage to find the blurry line in between and let it slip, you are 98% of the time bound to suffer the aftermath of an attack, or denial, the worst being_ the silent treatment.

Therefore, if i may ask, when does criticism become less constructive and more destructive? Can a person not speak their mind, without the other taking offense or a blow to the ego.


  1. When someone knows you love them, a well-timed, even-toned calling out will usually produce positive results. I think it's all about the right timing and having the right motive in the 'calling out'.

  2. @etoile when is the right time? nobody knws. if what you want to say is honest and true i guess there would be no need to worry abt backlash

  3. The backlash, depends on the recipient no matter how true or otherwise the criticism is, if the one hearing it can't be objective about it then there's really no such thing as a good time.You might as well say it and deal with the consequences if you are not prepared to keep mute about it.

  4. seriously, I think people who are quick to take offense are people who have problems with their egos.
    and the reasons for these are deep in so called culture, religion, age, etc., such things that are nothing but subjective. So reason is thrown out of the window! whey!

  5. When one party believes he or she is always right and unwilling to compromise, what do you do?
    Speak up and you are screwed, shut up and you're left miserable.

    Thanks for the comments

  6. @ B.O.N.T.I: True, the right time per se isn't always evident. I mentioned right timing because some times are clearly wrong. If you're at your in-laws and they are blasting your wife for something and she is so angry she is crying, that may not be the right time to add your own. You can wait till you get home and she is calmer, etc.
    @Lucci: with uncompromising people, still sow those seeds by speaking up if you're close enough to them. Even if they act all unyielding and refuse to talk to you, etc. It might come back and make more sense to them in their sober moments of reflection. Hopefully, they wont be too proud to call and say they were wrong. Even if they are, you've rendered your service to humanity.